Letters to friends should be easy to read

This solicitation for donations from Seven Acres is basically typical. It includes a branded outer envelope, request for money, simple response form and business reply envelope (not scanned).  The text of the letter talks to the history of the assisted living residence, the reason it is important to the community, and why the recipient should donate.

There are different ways to improve the content of the letter to improve persuasiveness, however I find myself motivated to write about simply the layout of the letter. The creative Fail is that the letter is hard to read. Simply put, it is not scanable.

• If you glance at the letter quickly, you will see two phrases: “Friends Campaign” and “Friends”. These are the words that are in boldface italics buried in the body copy. These are key words, but not the only ones a reader should take away from a request for money.

• The paragraphs are full justified. This makes the text difficult to read. Only newspapers and legal documents should be full justified. A successful direct mail letter will have text that is flush to the left column, e.g. left justified.

• The paragraphs are too long, especially the opening paragraph. (Long-form paragraphs can be successfully used in letters, but not one-page letters.) Lacking a Johnson Box or some other attention grabber to open the letter, the opening paragraph should be no longer than 2 sentences or 2 lines. It could be as simple as “Your support is desperately needed to help the elderly here in Houston.” Or consider leveraging the friends theme: “Houston area elderly citizens need a friend. Will you please help?”

The issue of timing is minor but also relevant. The letter is dated “February 2010” however it arrived in home in mid-March. The date on this type of letter does not add value under normal circumstances, and loses value when it arrives much later than dated.

My recommendation to the generous Friends Co-chairs at Seven Acres is to pick up a copy of Breakthrough Fundraising Letters by Alan Sharpe.

Learning: Your letter should be easily scanable so the reader can quickly ascertain the purpose. When using a typical letter format, always left-justify body copy. Don’t overload paragraph length on a short letter.

If at first you don’t succeed, don't repeat the Fail

In January, I evaluated a solo mail package from a local contractor.  Two months later, the exact same package arrived. The only changes: the date and the stamp on the outer envelope is a bit more straight, the date on the top of the letter, and Mr. Briggs claims a 48th year of experience.

In addition to the several Fails for Creative listed earlier, this package likely has an additional Fail for repeating the same letter exactly the same way twice. Resending a letter months later with no changes is not a typical Fail – a good creative can be mailed over and over again. In direct mail jargon, an optimized successful direct mail package is called a “Control”. The Control package is proven to be successful by testing against other packages that have different offers or creative format. If one of the package with the alternate offer or creative garners more response, then that becomes the Control. In other words, the Control is the one to beat in terms of getting response.

However, a package that is used multiple times without proving it’s success rate is not a Control. It is simply doing the same thing over again and expecting a different outcome.

Learning: Modify your base letter once in a while and test against your Control package frequently to improve long-term results.

A bit late for this kind of relief

This low-end 1-color self-mailer from a mortgage company arrived on March 13, just a bit late to lock in my rate if the funding pool review was indeed due February 22. Easy Fail for Timing. Surely it does not take over a month for a standard rate letter to travel from Salt Lake City to a big city in Texas.

Learnings: Always allow adequate time for your mail to be delivered.  Use a respond-by date that is later than the anticipated in-home date.

A letter from the Central Bureaucracy!

In the animated series Futurama, there is a funny bit where a bureaucrat receives a letter from the Central Bureaucracy reading, “Attention, Hermes Conrad. You are about to receive a letter from the Central Bureaucracy." Three seconds later, a second letter arrives. The bureaucrat is shocked and exclaims, “Oh, my God! It's from the Central Bureaucracy!”

Hundreds of millions of Americans received a letter this past week from the American central bureaucracy informing them that they will soon receive a letter from the central bureaucracy. It’s Census time.

The letter explains that we will soon receive a Census form in the mail. It requests that we should promptly complete the form when it arrives so our community gets money from the government. (I was taught by my political science teacher in grade school that the purpose of the Census was to ensure that my state received the correct allocation of representatives in Congress. However, for the moment, let’s set aside the political discussion and consider this as a solo direct mail solicitation.)

The call to action is to complete a Census form. The reason to take action is to receive government money for programs I and my neighbors need. The reason to take action now is… well, we can’t take action now. Immediacy is lost. From a marketing standpoint, that makes this a Fail.

Presumably, the purpose of the advance letter is to improve the response rate of the upcoming Census mailing. However, someone who would not open the Census mailing envelope to come would also not open the envelope for this advance mailing. In other words, the advance letter is not worth the cost. If an advance mailing is necessary, use a postcard. It has a greater likelihood of being read by potential non-responders.

If a solo envelope mailing is really necessary, consider adding a bit of spot color to make the piece visually appealing, e.g. not look like it arrived from a central bureaucracy. Color the Census 2010 logo in blue or even knock-out white over black if production cost is a concern.

 

The personal feel of the letter being signed by the director is positive, as is the closing postscript repeated in several languages prominent to the area. Given the information on the landing page, though, the call to action in the postscript should read, “Go to 2010census.gov for more information” rather than, “...for help completing the form when it arrives.” As of March 11, it is unclear on the Census landing page where to find help to complete the form. (However, it is clear where to find Dora the Explorer.) Thus, a second Fail. Perhaps the link will gain more prominence when the forms actually mail – if the Census team has made a plan to do so.

Lesson: If your call to action does not involve an immediate response, consider whether the vehicle will be cost-effective. When you mention a Web page in your direct mail, be sure that the landing page directly and seamlessly aligns with the stated reason for the recipient to go online.

AT&T & Comcast: Two Bundles, One Impersonal Fail

Fail: Creative
These two solo mail cross-sell packages recently arrived at the same home a couple days apart from each other. The recipient has Comcast for cable service and AT&T for landline phone service and internet. This person has a different company for mobile phone service.

The letter from AT&T is stamped. The return address on the back includes the company name and logo. The letter inside also includes the logo and is addressed personally to the recipient.

I reviewed fails of a similar creative package from AT&T -- selling multiple products in one letter and other creative missteps -- but what AT&T does right with their mail is they recognize the value of their brand, leveraging their customer relationship, and addressing the relationship. Since my review of AT&T's second fail, AT&T improved the letter creatively by personalizing the signature and reinforcing a call to action in the postscript. Overall, the letter feels personal.

The strong aspects of AT&T’s letter highlight the Fails from Comcast:

• The envelope return address does not include the company name. This is often referred to as a “blind envelope”, because the recipient is blind to the identity of the sender until the mail is opened. It is a common and sometimes sensible tactic in an acquisitions mailing. However, the postage indicia includes the company name. If Comcast truly intended to have a blind mailing, then the postage indicia could have used a permit number -- or better yet, use a stamp. The result of an incomplete use of this tactic is that the outer envelope is a double-fail: one for not including Comcast in the return address when mailing to a current customer (he would have opened it anyway), and a second fail to including it in the indicia. This suggests that Comcast believes it’s brand equity is negative but is not willing to take a couple extra steps in production to completely cover up it’s brand name.

• The envelope is addressed to the recipient “or current resident”. This suggests that Comcast lacks confidence in the qualify of it’s customer list, Comcast was not concerned about production quality, or this was a mass mailing without considering who might already be actual customers.

• The letter is impersonal. It is not addressed to the customer, it is addressed to “Dear Customer”. It does not recognize what services the customer has with Comcast. In this case, the recipient believes he already has Digital Preferred Cable but after reviewing his Comcast bill, he is not sure.

• The offer is incomplete and potentially misleading. For example the bundle of Digital Preferred Cable & High-Speed Internet is $79.99 for 6 months. What is the price after 6 months? Based on the text in the disclosure, my guess is somewhere in the neighborhood of $135 - $150. That does not appear to be a way to “Cut down on your household bills!”

• The tone of the letter is promotional but with needless self-bluster. Phrases such as “we are pleased to offer you” do not add value to the communication. To my knowledge, only the Queen of England has the privilege to refer to herself in the first person plural. Also, being pleased to offer something has no benefit to the customer. (Given the long-term price for the bundled services, perhaps Comcast is pleased because they are offering a potentially bait and switch price.) The letter is signed by “Comcast Houston”, an inhuman corporate entity.

Lesson: You cannot build a personal relationship by being impersonal. It is important not only to know your customers, but to address them personally as customers. Communicate to them as people and persuade them that you want to address their needs.

Did Al Edwards' Direct Mail Fail cost him an election?

Fail: Creative  

Here in Texas, State legislator Al Edwards lost the Democratic primary this week.  In the run-up to the primary election, his postcard mailers touted his Democrat credentials but often included messages about not repeating the same mistake.  I do not know the history around him and his primary opponent, Boris Miles, nor do most voters in the district.  That gets to the point of this Fail -- being off-message in an election.

There is a great deal of anti-incumbent sentiment in the voter community.  Even though the race is for state legislature, a message of "Lets not make the same mistake again" appeals to that group.  For an incumbent to use it is at best strange and at worst destructive.  Perhaps this postcard is part of the reason why he lost.

Politicians are like businesses.  They have their own brand identity, recognized style, and mental associations.  Most recognize this and strive to either play on or transform their brand to varying levels of success.

Learning: Fully think though your message, your audience's knowledge of your brand, and the relevance of the message.

Know Thy Customer, and Know Thy Customer’s Children

Fail: List 

The use of your customer list and communicating your knowledge of them to them can lead to smart direct mail -- or to a Fail. This self-mailer from a Honda dealership is an example of effective use of a customer list …

… the recipient owns a 2002 Odyssey and needs regular service.  So a mailpiece that references their car will get a high open rate and effective response rate.

A postcard from UnitedHealthOne leverages an insurance company’s knowledge that a family has a student in her fourth year of college to offer post-grad individual insurance:

In this case, the student is planning a fifth year of undergrad studies. UnitedHealthOne could get bonus points if it sends another postcard next year.  Also, the postcard was addressed to the student’s father with a message referencing making the “mother proud.” That could be interpreted as a cultural reference rather than a literal one, so no Fail here.

So, what kind of list use would be a Fail? Referencing children’s age and behavior that are not accurate. This letter from American Express was mailed to a parent with an outer envelope teaser reading “Give a teenager something they can always carry with them.”

However, the recipient’s youngest child is a 35 year old homeowner. The body of the letter talks of teaching financial responsibility more broadly to “your loved ones”, an appropriate message for a middle-aged parent with children 15 – 21. But that was not the case here.

 
 
 

 
 
Here is a full-out Fail.

This personalized solo package from an Acura dealer references the recipient’s “pre-owned 2008 Acura RL”, however the recipient does not have an Acura. In fact, he never even set foot in an Acura dealership.

Learning:   Ensure that data on your customer list is accurate, especially when referencing your information with customers.

Allow customers to read the fine print

Fail: Creative   

This fold-out self mailer might be listed on mouseprint for it’s Fail.

The businesses, EAS, appears to have spent a bit extra on printing to include a solid silver color to break though mail clutter. The offer of insulating your home for only $100 is so compelling that it borders on disbelief.  The credibility of the headline is further strained by the reference to “No Money Down / 12 Months No Payment / No Interest Financing".  Hmm, why would those claims be necessary for only $100 worth of servce?  Let’s check out the fine print to find out … What?  You can’t read it?  Well, maybe you can if you have a magnifying glass or zoom in on a scanned image. But the average consumer will not notice and can not read that.

This disclosure* text is in the bottom right corner of the mailer, in white print over a light blue background. The color contrast is inadequate and font appears to be 8 point Arial Narrow, rendering it unreadable.  With a Fail like this, the direct mail solicitation borders on being misleading.  Nearly all offers these days will have some sort of disclosure, but the point of having them is for them to be able to be read.

The piece could also deserve a Fail for creative being heavy on snowflakes while targeting homeowners in south Texas.  It snows here in Houston about once every 3 years.  We care about insulating from heat much more than cool air, even in February.  (As I write this, it is 65 degrees and sunny.)

Learning: Ensure that your disclosure is readable by including the text at a reasonable font size and with adequate color contrast.

* Many people mistakenly refer to small print associated with marketing communications as a disclaimer, when in fact it is a disclosure. According to dictionary.com, a ‘disclaimer’ is “the act of disclaiming; the renouncing, repudiating, or denying of a claim; disavowal” while a ‘disclosure’ is “the act or an instance of disclosing; exposure; revelation.” ‘Disclose’ is defined as “to make known; reveal or uncover” From a Marketing standpoint, a disclaimer is an admission that the headline is false – otherwise why renounce it? However, a disclosure provides secondary but relevant facts of an offer. So the only reason an offer or marketing communication would require a disclaimer is if it was misleading from the onset.

French Cuff Boutique: Is this supposed to match my tie?

Fail: List   

This postcard arrived from a local boutique.  The mailers knew I am a man -- it is addressed to "Mr Marc B Davis" -- yet went through the expense of sending me a card.  If the intent was to reach the woman of the household, then address the postcard to the woman.  At least hedge a bit by addressing to the "Davis Family" or "Davis Home". 

You can't argue that perhaps it was sent thinking that a man might purchase a gift there, because if that was the case, then a gift idea should be messaged on the mailer.

Learning: If your product is geared towards a specific type of consumer, then mail to only people who match your customer profile.

Is this my last chance? Really, truly?

Fail:  Creative   

I commented before on Money Magazine’s double use of the same Last Chance creative. I received two more that were different from the original, but the same as each other. Here is one of the two:

The package also included a reply mail envelope. 

The Fail here is again for Creative by claiming this is the Final Notice, twice and after mailing two other packages also marked ‘Final Notice.’  Rather than building upon the prior contacts, the overuse of too much urgency makes each one less responsive.  One alternative would be to include the sequence in the creative.  For example, the second notice could have been marked 'Second Notice' and the third mailer could have been marked 'URGENT.  Third notice', which would both lead to the true 'Final Notice'.

Learning:  In a multi-touch contact strategy, coordinate your sequence of messages to make each one stand out and be believable.