Showing posts with label Queens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Queens. Show all posts

11/09/2025

Corcoran: Moving In With Free Pizza

This postcard from a duo of real estate brokers is a creative idea but it misses the mark in execution. Is it Mail That Fails, or just a bit too heavy on the cheese?

Corcoran Free Pizza Postcard

The front of the postcard touts "Free Pizza!*" There are over 1,800 pizzerias in New York City, because we love our pizza. I mean, if that picture isn't causing you to have a Pavlovian response, then you're not a New Yorker. 

Eric Volpe free pizza offer

So who doesn't want free pizza, right? Yup, the postcard can be redeemed for a free Margherita pizza at Salsa Napoletana & Street Food.

That apparently no-strings-attached free pizza is a way of introducing the Volpe | Kelly Real Estate Team from Brooklyn to Queens. See, the real estate team got its start in Brooklyn and is now covering Forest Hills. Salsa Napoletana got started in Brooklyn and recently opened a shop in the area, so why not team up, right?

(Side note: Salsa Napoletana isn't really in Forest Hills. Their location is in nearby Rego Park. But, hey, it is in Queens, so that's close enough for the metaphor to work, I guess.)

The copy on the postcard makes the Brooklyn / Forest Hills connection:

Headline:

Salsa Pizzeria came from Brooklyn. So Did I. Your Home's Buyer May Too!

Copy:

In the last decade, sales of homes like yours have increased by nearly $400,000 [sic]. It's no surprise buyers from Brooklyn are craving to live in Forest Hills. As a longtime Brooklyn real estate expert and resident of Forest Hills, I'm excited to team up with Salsa Pizzeria - a beloved Brooklyn pie shop now open on Woodhaven Blvd.

Whether you're hungry for a new home or a classic slice, we've got you covered. Call today to discuss your options.

For those of you who don't know New York City, we have five boroughs, and there are reasons people choose to live in the borough of Queens. Generally speaking, Brooklyn is artsy, urban, hipster and expensive, while Queens is diverse, multicultural, family-friendly and (slightly) more affordable. Folks in Forest Hills don't want the Brooklyn lifestyle and they may not want to relate to people who tout that Brooklyn lifestyle. So, I'm not sure I'd want to tout the Brooklyn connection too much as a RTB (reason to believe) Mr. Volpe is the right broker for Forest Hills. On the other hand, Brooklyn and pizza does make for an interesting message hook.

The postcard's messaging and call to action could be strengthened. The broker could communicate not just location, but success. Potential rewrite:

Headline:

Salsa Pizzeria is successful in Brooklyn. So am I. See what we can do for you in Forest Hills.

Copy:

When Salsa Pizzeria opened in Brooklyn, it was the talk of the neighborhood. Their Neapolitan pizza was created with passion and flavor that brings people back for more. Now, their pizza is available near your home. 

When I got my professional start in Brooklyn, I brought that same passion to real estate, helping connect sellers and buyers with homes they'll live in and love. 

I live in Forest Hills, so whether you're hungry for a new home or a classic slice, I've got you covered. Call me today at xxx-xxx-xxxx to discuss how I can help you. 

 What's behind the edits:

  • Credibility Build. Expertise may be nice, but a broker with passion is someone people want to interact with.
  • Avoiding Misguided Quantification. The original copy confused sales with value, and offered a figure that would align with actual home value increases only coincidentally.
  • Including the phone number in the call to action. If someone is interested in calling you, don't make them hunt for a means to reach you. 
  • Personalizing the call to action. By asking someone to "call me", the experience of expressing interest is personalized, which reduces tension.
I'd also suggest:
  • Adding a bit more urgency on the pizza offer. "While supplies last" is good, but perhaps consider, "Limited to 100 pies" and/or "Available only through xx/xx/xx" to motivate people to get that pizza.
  • Making the QR code jump out. In only black and tan, it gets lost in the current location and it looks like the outline of a pizza. Add some contrasting spot color or render the call to action in boldface.
  • If not already done, ensure that that the pizzeria has brochures and other information about the real estate firm. Get a pizza, get a handout, call Mr. Volpe. Everyone wins.
  • Consider who this postcard is from. It isn't fully clear if this postcard is about Eric Volpe, about the Volpe | Kelly Team, or about The Corcoran Group. While The Corcoran Group has a positive brand identity in the Big Apple, Volpe | Kelly is what is touted on the pizza side of the postcard. And, who is that woman next to Eric's name on the bottom of the address side? Is she Kelly?
So, is this Mail That Fails? Not quite, but Content could be improved.

Lessons:

  1. When engaging in local messaging, be sure you're appealing to the local audience with local flavor.
  2. Give customers a reason to believe in you.
  3. Don't let your call to action get lost.
  4. Be consistent in self-identification.
  5. It's hard to go wrong with pizza in New York City.

3/06/2022

BCHP: A hard-to-find doctor for my non-existent child

When someone asks me if I have children, I sometimes joke, "None to my knowledge." In that context, when I receive a postcard asking me, "Looking for a pediatrician or pediatric specialist?" I have to wonder if someone knows something I don't.

Maybe I do have a child. Maybe my wife has a bun in the oven. Or maybe the reason I received this postcard is less dramatic  that the postcard from Boston Children's Health Physicians (BCHP) merits a Fail for Targeting.

Let's set aside for the moment the fact that I do not have any offspring and break down the postcard's content.

Boston Children's Heath Physicians
Mommy is happy with her healthy baby.

The front of the postcard simply suggests that I choose Bost Children's Health Physicians. It doesn't suggest why I choose one of their doctors. What makes their physicians desirable? To put it in marketing terms, what is BCHP's unique selling proposition?

BCHP Boston Children's Health Physicians
Where is Forest Hills, Queens?
Not in the area shown on the postcard.

The address side of the postcard includes a minor sales message that supports the Call to Action – to “find the expert care your child needs to grow and thrive.” And the postcard displays a map that appears to show the locations of doctors. There is an arrow pointing to the map, reading, “Find a pediatric provider in your area” with emphasis on “your.” Quick takeaway: most of New York City doesn’t even appear on the map.

Maybe there is a provider near me, but how would I know? Rather than communicating how to find the provider – and placing it next to the Call to Action to do so – there is a bunch of white space below the map. The response method is on the other side of the postcard…well, sort of.

Buried on the bottom right corner of the picture of mom and her smiling baby is a URL leading to the Boston Children’s Health Physicians home page. Somewhere on that home page is information that supports the postcard’s messaging, but it isn’t easy to find. The QR code doesn’t lead to the same page as the URL; it leads directly to the practice locator page. And the placement of the QR code (within an image on the opposite side) is a Fail for Creative.

BCHP Boston Children's Health Physicians
BCHP locations not quite near Queens
Let’s get back to finding a provider in my area. I tried the QR code on my smartphone. It indicated that the nearest practice was in Bardonia, NY.

As the crow flies, the distance from Forest Hills, Queens, NY to Bardonia is about 27 miles. As the parent drives in traffic, however, it is two toll bridges and typically an hour drive or longer with a sick or tired child in the back seat. (That assumes the parent has a car. After all, this is New York City.) This long distance to a physician confirms that the postcard was poorly targeted geographically – another Fail for Targeting.

Returning to the caption below the map, what is a “pediatric provider?” Why use that kind of industry jargon when the front of the postcard uses “pediatrician” and “pediatric specialist” while the address side of the postcard cites having 55 “practices”? Why throw yet another term out there? I realize I’m not a parent but, if I were, wouldn’t I want to find a “doctor” for my child?

IMHO, this postcard does not really support Boston Children’s Health Physicians. It is poorly designed, written, and targeted.
 
Finally, unless there is a back-end method in place for tracking response to the individuals being mailed, this isn’t direct marketing – it’s mailed advertising.


Lessons:

  1. Vet your data sources to target matching demographics.
  2. Just being available is not enough. Even a medical practice needs a differentiator.
  3. The means of following through on a Call to Action should be located close to the Call to Action, and easy to find.
  4. Vet your physical targeting to people who can easily get to your physical business or medical practice.
  5. If your Call to Action includes a web site, don’t just list a home page. Use a direct URL that aligns with the Call to Action.
  6. Apply jargon consistently using terms your customers understand.
  7. Even a postcard for a medical practice should include some method of tracking results.








Edit 2/11/23: Removed reference to company that sent the mail per request of a person working at that company. 

10/25/2021

DoorDash: No Sleep till Queens ?!?

We live in Queens -- a borough of New York City. It is also it's own county. It is not like any other borough or any other place in the world. 

So to suggest that we live in nearby Brooklyn is like someone suggesting San Francisco-based DoorDash is actually in Oakland -- sure, it's nearby, but it's a different world.

I ordered from DoorDash once, although I'm not sure when or why. Maybe it was to take advantage of a credit card offer, or perhaps it was that time last year when my wife and I really, really wanted a Carvel ice cream cake but didn't feel safe taking the subway there in the middle of a pandemic. Regardless, that one order was enough to be added to their email marketing list.

DoorDash email to Queens customer touting Brooklyn

DoorDash knows where I live: firmly in a Queens zip code. So, the only reason to send me an offer email with a Subject line of "Hey, Brooklyn" is to want to get a Fail for Creative. Brooklyn is a nice borough, but to suggest that we live there is insulting to those of us who can walk to the World's Fair Site or the Louis Armstrong Museum -- or can brag they live in the same borough where Peter Parker grew up with his Aunt May.

But, to suggest I live in Brooklyn? Ouch! Not even a month of free pizza could get me to say, "Fuhgeddaboutit." I'm going to just leave this picture here.

Lesson: 
If you want to appeal to your customers based on locality, make sure you get their location right.