Showing posts with label Call to Action. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Call to Action. Show all posts

12/04/2023

GE: UltraFast Postcard Fail

I recently received a postcard from GE that merits several Fails for Content. 

GE One And Done

The front shows an androgynous person in a high-end walk-in closet doing laundry. She is smirking at her laundry machine while either preparing to put towels in or recently having removed them. "This is not just laundry," cries the headline, "This is One & Done."

GE One & Done Wash & Dry

On the address side is a picture of two laundry machines -- presumably run by an app. There is very little copy on this side, only, "Wash + Dry with the UltraFast Combo," with a Call to Action to visit a specific appliance store.

As executed, this postcard has multiple Fails. Let's break down why it was a waste of money.

Confusing Audience

The front of the postcard shows someone in a combination utility room and expensive closet, with more athletic shoes than you can count. The room looks pretty expensive, like it is in the house of a one-percenter. It certainly doesn't look like this is a typical personal using a typical machine. So a typical consumer might look at the person and room and think they couldn't afford whatever the postcard is advertising.

Misleading Product

The address side shows not one, but two machines, visually suggesting that this is a washer-and-dryer combination set. It isn't, through, the picture is actually of two of the same one-piece washer/dryer appliances -- one has a stand. A typical consumer would have to look and think hard to recognize this, but they wouldn't bother. They'd likely look at the postcard fore about three seconds, then toss it.

Uncompelling Benefits, No Urgency

The communicated benefits appear to be the ability to wash and dry by using an app. Maybe that's enough to motivate a consumer to visit a website in the comfort of their own home, but it is not compelling enough to get a consumer to schlep to a store. After all, this is a low-interest category for a major purchase. Why not include an offer, such as $100 rebate for this $2,899 machine if the consumer brings in the postcard within 30 days? Even a modest incentive with a reasonable offer expiration date supports some action.

Incorrect Location

Finally, this postcard gets the store location wrong. The Hoing's Appliance location near me is in Forest Hills, not the Bronx physical address shown on the postcard. In fact, the web address on the postcard is for Forest Hills location, while the Bronx location has a different web address.


Lessons:
  1. Explain your product. Clearly communicate its benefits.
  2. Support your mail with online content to explain your product benefits.
  3. Give the customer a reason to take action soon.
  4. When directing a customer to a physical location, share the nearest location.
  5. Check every URL listed in your mail.

10/10/2022

PenFed Credit Union: What's the Point(s)?

 A couple years ago, I wrote about a credit card solicitation I received from PenFed Credit Union. It took some serious sleuthing to understand why I would be eligible for membership. Since then, I've received a few others from PenFed, including this one for a PenFed Platinum Rewards Visa Signature Card.

I received this mailing as someone who isn't a PenFed member, isn't a member of the armed forces, and is someone who knows about PenFed only because of writing this blog. The letter includes a paragraph explaining that I need to become a member to get the credit card. So, it's probably safe to conclude that the mailer's target audience is who don't know much about PenFed.

Their recent solicitation is again pretty typical for a mid-tier credit card provider: window envelope; letter with Johnson Box; clear Call to Action; Schumer Box; brochure insert; and required credit prescreen opt-out notice. Let's break it down.

The window envelope is clearly branded. Unlike the one from two years ago, this one does not have a teaser

PenFed Credit Union Credit Card Offer Envelope

The personalized letter opens with a straightforward Johnson Box message: Earn 15,000 points when you spend $1,500 in the first 90 days. Nice. The letter opens by communicating a benefit that the rewards card works with my lifestyle. I can earn bonus points by doing what I do. I can get 5x points for filling my car's tank -- or even charging my EV, so forward-thinking! -- 3x points for food shopping or eating and doing other everyday stuff, and everyday 1x points for all those other purchases. The points accrual rates are reinforced in the right margin. 

PenFed Credit Union Credit Card Offer Letter

The letter closes with an explanation that I need to become a PenFed Credit Union member to get the credit card. It's a simple process, so all I need to do is scan the QR code or go to their website to get started.

The back of the letter reinforces points accrual and compares it to other credit card providers that offer points, then reinforces the Call to Action. 

PenFed Credit Union Credit Card Offer Letter

The points proposition is reinforced with a tri-fold brochure reinforcing points accrual rates. It also communicates some secondary perks such as Tap to Pay and Fraud Monitoring, but mainly it's about how all those points can really add up -- and the Call to Action is reinforced yet again.

Brochure Cover



Brochure inset

Brochure inside

Brochure back

The letter package also includes the legally required Schumer Box and accompanying language disclosing the card product's terms.

Credit disclosures, including Schumer Box

 The back of the disclosures page is blank.
Back of credit disclosures page (blank page)

This isn't a quite a Fail for Creative; however, there are some improvement opportunities: 

  • Consider an enticement for the prospective customer to open the envelope. There should be an envelope teaser that would motivate the recipient to open the envelope. Given that the target audience is non-members (e.g. do not have a relationship with PenFed) this is more important than usual. (The "You're Pre-Approved" message in the standard size window is easily missed.)

  • Since the audience is non-member who don't know them, PenFed should introduce itself. Maybe PenFed has strong brand recognition within the military community; but, since I also received it, they are presumably also soliciting new customers who haven't served. Consider using the Who We Are content from the website and include it on the back of the required disclosures sheet, or squeeze a message in the letter or the brochure. 

  • Share the value of points. There is plenty of space allotted to points accrual, but nothing about how the points can be used. Explain if points can be used for travel, cash back, donations to the USO, or something I might enjoy. Also, the lack of quantification of value can be suspicious. Perhaps that 15,000-point intro bonus is worth less than the 10,000-point bonus with the compared-to American Express EveryDay Credit Card -- or perhaps it takes 20,000 points to get a shiny nickel. 

Lessons:

  1. Think about your target audience. If they are not current customers, help them get to know you.
  2. When soliciting prospective customers, include a conspicuous teaser message to give them a reason to open your envelope.
  3. Communicate benefits. Points are not a benefit. They are a vehicle of earnings toward a benefit. 
  4. Paper is expensive. Don't waste any. Leverage blank space to sell some more.

5/25/2022

PayPal: Where $1 Cash Back For Every $20 Spent Is Less Than 5%

Since last July, the value of PayPal stock has fallen by about 75%. While many analysts are discussing the company's "fundamentals" and suggesting at what price to purchase the stock, I'm staying away for a different reason -- because they often produce Mail That Fails. 

My first post about PayPal's several Fails was in 2011 when they mailed me a shoddy credit offer. There are a few more, including a recent one about a confusing and poorly targeted Venmo offer. Now, add to my list of PayPal Fails this offer of "$1 cash back for every $20 spent at restaurants." 

PayPal Restaurant Rebate Offer - May, 2022

PayPal Restaurant Cash Card Offer - May, 2022

PayPal Restaurant Rebate Offer - Disclosures

PayPal Restaurant Rebate Offer - More Disclosures
PayPal Cash Card Restaurant Rebate Offer
Received May 9, 2022

Scanning the headline might make you think that going out to lunch four times -- spending $25 each time with your GooglePay app to use your PayPal balance for those lunches -- would earn you $5 cash back ($100 divided by $20 equals $5). But you'd be wrong…twice. The offer requires me to first request a PayPal Cash Card, then receive it in the mail and use it at a restaurant. All within 5 weeks of first receiving the offer – some of which is spent waiting for PayPal to process my request for the card. That's a lot of effort and a short window of opportunity for a small benefit, e.g. a Fail for Offer

PayPal could have easily avoided this by using a rolling offer expiration date. For example, PayPal could require the customer to request the card by a specific date, but then give the customer a reasonable amount of time to use the card after activation, say, 60 days. That would be clear to explain and fair to the customer -- unless, of course, the intent is to make imply the offer is more generous then it actually is.

Which leads me to the actual offer value. I read through the disclosure text a few times, and I'm pretty sure that cash back offer is on a per-transaction basis. So, while each purchase of $25 would be worth $1 cash back and a $100 dinner might net $5 cash back, four lunches adding up to $100 would be worth only $4 cash back. If I'm right, this is a Fail for Offer and Content for being misleading. If I'm wrong, it is a Fail for Content for lack of clarity.

Another Fail for Content lies in the disclosures. It appears this disclosure was rushed and not proofread. Take this paragraph, for example:

"Eligible Purchase(s)": Eligible Purchase is defined as every $20.00 USD spent in-store or onlineusing the Card and finalized by the merchant during the Offer Period (defined below) in thefollowing category: restaurants (according to the Merchant Category Code (“MCC”) assigned byeach merchant, their processor, and the credit card networks. Only acceptable MCCs for this offerare 5812 and 5814). PayPal is not responsible for assignment of MCC codes. As a result, Reward willnot be awarded if the MCC code assigned to a particular merchant does not fall within a restaurantcategory, even if you believe that the merchant is a restaurant. Eligible Purchases do not include:(1) purchases that are marked as “pending” in your Card account as of the end of the Offer Period,(2) purchases made at eligible merchants using a third-party delivery service (3) ATM transactions,(4) gift card purchases, (5) any purchase or portion of a purchase that involves a payment methodother than the Card, or (6) in-store cash withdrawals/cash back. 

Spaces are missing between words. The punctuation is inconsistent. Some numbers in parentheses have spaces before them; some do not. There’s also a missing comma after "service" in the last sentence. 

There are references to "e-mail" in some paragraphs and "email" in other paragraphs. According to grammarly.com, both are correct as long as you use it consistently. PayPal is not being consistent.

These types of possibly misleading offers and unclear communications suggest to me that PayPal's leadership is spending their marketing dollars without full consideration of what they are doing and how they are doing it. As a stockholder, that would frighten me. As a customer, that also scares me a bit. If I can't expect to get a clean offer and clear communication, should I really be trusting PayPal to keep my personal information secure?

Lessons:

  1. Clearly communicate your offer.
  2. Allow your customers adequate time to respond to your offer and benefit from it's value.
  3. Proofread your entire communication, including your disclosures.
  4. Your customers' trust is potentially built or destroyed by every communication.
  5. The debate between "e-mail" and "email" isn't over, but at least pick a side.

3/06/2022

BCHP: A hard-to-find doctor for my non-existent child

When someone asks me if I have children, I sometimes joke, "None to my knowledge." In that context, when I receive a postcard asking me, "Looking for a pediatrician or pediatric specialist?" I have to wonder if someone knows something I don't.

Maybe I do have a child. Maybe my wife has a bun in the oven. Or maybe the reason I received this postcard is less dramatic  that the postcard from Boston Children's Health Physicians (BCHP) merits a Fail for Targeting.

Let's set aside for the moment the fact that I do not have any offspring and break down the postcard's content.

Boston Children's Heath Physicians
Mommy is happy with her healthy baby.

The front of the postcard simply suggests that I choose Bost Children's Health Physicians. It doesn't suggest why I choose one of their doctors. What makes their physicians desirable? To put it in marketing terms, what is BCHP's unique selling proposition?

BCHP Boston Children's Health Physicians
Where is Forest Hills, Queens?
Not in the area shown on the postcard.

The address side of the postcard includes a minor sales message that supports the Call to Action – to “find the expert care your child needs to grow and thrive.” And the postcard displays a map that appears to show the locations of doctors. There is an arrow pointing to the map, reading, “Find a pediatric provider in your area” with emphasis on “your.” Quick takeaway: most of New York City doesn’t even appear on the map.

Maybe there is a provider near me, but how would I know? Rather than communicating how to find the provider – and placing it next to the Call to Action to do so – there is a bunch of white space below the map. The response method is on the other side of the postcard…well, sort of.

Buried on the bottom right corner of the picture of mom and her smiling baby is a URL leading to the Boston Children’s Health Physicians home page. Somewhere on that home page is information that supports the postcard’s messaging, but it isn’t easy to find. The QR code doesn’t lead to the same page as the URL; it leads directly to the practice locator page. And the placement of the QR code (within an image on the opposite side) is a Fail for Creative.

BCHP Boston Children's Health Physicians
BCHP locations not quite near Queens
Let’s get back to finding a provider in my area. I tried the QR code on my smartphone. It indicated that the nearest practice was in Bardonia, NY.

As the crow flies, the distance from Forest Hills, Queens, NY to Bardonia is about 27 miles. As the parent drives in traffic, however, it is two toll bridges and typically an hour drive or longer with a sick or tired child in the back seat. (That assumes the parent has a car. After all, this is New York City.) This long distance to a physician confirms that the postcard was poorly targeted geographically – another Fail for Targeting.

Returning to the caption below the map, what is a “pediatric provider?” Why use that kind of industry jargon when the front of the postcard uses “pediatrician” and “pediatric specialist” while the address side of the postcard cites having 55 “practices”? Why throw yet another term out there? I realize I’m not a parent but, if I were, wouldn’t I want to find a “doctor” for my child?

IMHO, this postcard does not really support Boston Children’s Health Physicians. It is poorly designed, written, and targeted.
 
Finally, unless there is a back-end method in place for tracking response to the individuals being mailed, this isn’t direct marketing – it’s mailed advertising.


Lessons:

  1. Vet your data sources to target matching demographics.
  2. Just being available is not enough. Even a medical practice needs a differentiator.
  3. The means of following through on a Call to Action should be located close to the Call to Action, and easy to find.
  4. Vet your physical targeting to people who can easily get to your physical business or medical practice.
  5. If your Call to Action includes a web site, don’t just list a home page. Use a direct URL that aligns with the Call to Action.
  6. Apply jargon consistently using terms your customers understand.
  7. Even a postcard for a medical practice should include some method of tracking results.








Edit 2/11/23: Removed reference to company that sent the mail per request of a person working at that company. 

12/16/2021

Athletic Greens: Landing page does not work out

For more than a decade, I've written about the four pillars of a successful direct marketing campaign: Targeting, Offer, Creative and Timing (TOCT). But there is something that binds these pillar together: Execution.

If you properly thought through your TOCT and planned your work, execution is working the plan. To execute successful, everything should work the way it should.

Which brings us to Athletic Greens. I recently received this self-mailer:
Athletic Greens
Cover panel

Athletic Greens
Address panel, with offer URL


Athletic Greens
Inside panel



Athletic Greens
Sales panels
Athletic Greens


Creatively, this is quite a good piece for the category. The paper stock is thick, making it stand out in the clutter of mail. The message are simple and straightforward. The Call to Action is to subscribe to receive dietary supplements by visiting www.athleticgreens.com/startag1 and taking advantage of an offer for new customers. When I tried it, the URL did not work. 
Athletic Greens
Non-functional landing page


Because the landing page was non-functional, this otherwise compelling self-mailer merits a Fail for Execution. If customers can't get the offer they were promised, why would they trust the product?

And it's not like a prospective customer can easily call to take advantage of the offer. The self-mailer lacks a phone number. Sure, there is one on a page buried in the web site (888-390-4029), but that is listed as "Customer Service." Are there no salespeople available? I believe this approach of mailing an offer without a phone number as a secondary call to action is pennywise and pound foolish. It may merit a Fail for Creative.

I received the self-mailer 10 days before Christmas, a time when people are thinking about indulging for the holidays, visiting family and friends, and end-of-year financial activities. A typical mailbox is full of charity solicitations, catalogs and holiday cards. Is this really a time to mail an offer related to personal self-improvement that attempts to motivate people to change their dietary habits? I think no, and that this could be a Fail for Timing

If I planned this campaign, I would have timed the maildrop with an in-home date three weeks later, e.g., the first week of January. I would have also tested the landing page before mailing.

Lessons:
  1. When you include a web address on your solicitation, make sure it works.
  2. When using snail mail to sell your product, don't assume people will go online to response. Include a phone number in your Call to Action.
  3. Carefully consider the impact of seasonality when timing your mailing.






11/30/2021

PayPal: Venmo $10 Giveaway Email Lacks Explanation or Focused Targeting

This recent email from PayPal trying to cross-sell Venmo merits Fails for Creative and Targeting.

PayPal Venmo $10 Offer
Enrollment offer email, sent to long-term
Venmo customer

The email offers me a straight cash bribe (or, as we say in marketing, an incentive) to sign up for Venmo. The Call to Action is to click on the “Claim Your $10” link that will bring me to the below landing page.

Venmo $10 Offer Landing Page
Landing page
lacks explanation of Venmo product features or customer benefits

The landing page reinforces the incentive and discloses information about fees -- and allows me to sign up for Venmo and verify my phone number.

But what is Venmo? Neither the email nor landing page include a product explanation. Simply put: If someone hasn’t used Venmo -- which is, after all, the kind of person the email is targeting -- they would have no idea what it is or why they should provide their mobile number to get $10. Both the email and landing page should include benefit statements or at least some brief sales messages.

Now, in fact, I know all about Venmo. I’ve been using it for a long time, long enough for Venmo’s parent PayPal to know that I am an active customer. That is why I give this a Fail for Targeting. There is no value in sending a new customer acquisition offer to a long-term active customer like myself. Communications like this can make customers question the strength of a brand.

Speaking of brand, why doesn’t PayPal put its name behind Venmo -- at least on this marketing email? For customers who haven’t heard of or used Venmo (like the ones targeted by the offer), including phrasing such as “backed by PayPal” or “a PayPal service” would at least lend some credibility to the product.

This isn’t the first time PayPal has offered me an incentive for something without explanation. Last year, PayPal sent me an offer for Honey that lacked a product value proposition. Nor is this the first time that PayPal has demeaned its brand with shoddy marketing communications. These communications can implicitly send a message to customers that PayPal doesn’t have its act together, which could lead to decreased trust and decreased use. Is this a company to trust with cryptocurrency purchases?

Sometimes marketing managers are so obsessed with their products, they forget the basics. That’s why they need to take a step back, review lessons like the below, and avoid sending Mail That Fails.

Lessons:

  1. Explain what it is you are selling and why it is beneficial.
  2. Extend your new customer offer only to potential new customers.
  3. If selling an affiliate service, consider explaining the relationship with the affiliate.

8/14/2021

Freshly: Referral Offer Freshens Up

 A couple months ago I wrote about a referral offer from Freshly that merited a Fail for Creative. Last week, the company sent me a similar offer and, from a creative and user experience standpoint, it is an improvement. 

Freshly Referral Offer
Freshly email

This email is personalized, addressing me by name. Although it positions the referral offer as something I had "earned" (which feels a bit gimmicky), the email does recognize both my purchase history and enthusiasm for the product. 

Rather than the previous mailing -- which provided a code to share but without adequate instructions about how to use it -- this email offers a simple link with a Call to Action to "Send a Free Box." That seems easy, and needs no special codes. 

The landing page includes a 3-step, easy-to-understand process for the customer to follow to give a friend a free week of Freshly. 

Freshly Freebie Box Landing Page
Referral offer landing page

The input fields are clear. The email message and subject lines include stock language with an opportunity to personalize. That's almost as flexible as switching next week's meal from the Cauliflower Shell Beef Bolognese to the Indian-Spiced Chickpea Curry Bowl.

One element included in the May email that is lacking here, however, is an expiration date. Instead, the email body copy mentions "... and will expire unless you share it soon ...", while the disclosure reads, "Freshly reserves the right to modify, replace, or cancel offer(s) at any time" -- a statement that lacks a sense of immediacy. This is not a Fail for Creative but is an improvement opportunity. Even if this referral offer is intended to be evergreen, I would include a soft expiration date using language such as "... so send a Freebie Box in the next 7 days and give the gift of better meals made easy!"

Referral offer Thank You page

Lessons:
  1. Referral programs are a useful approach to allowing your customers to be your advocates.
  2. When you want your customers to do something, take all the traction out of the process.
  3. If your offer does not have a expiration date, at least suggest a timeframe for the customer to take action.

5/09/2021

GetRiver.com & Colibri: Less is Less

This recent email for river by Colibri IO is a textbook Fail for Creative.

GetRiver.com sales email
Email with Call to Action to buy something now



Lesson: Include in your marketing emails elements missing here:

  1. Explanation of the product or service
  2. Explanation of what the reader is supposed to buy
  3. Offer expiration date -- specifically, when does the coupon code expire
  4. At least some information about the cost
  5. A live Facebook presence when including a link to a Facebook page
  6. Content on your Twitter page from less than three years ago when including a link to Twitter.

5/02/2021

Freshly: How Do I Share My Code?

This email from Freshly merits a Fail for Creative.

Freshly referral / share email
Freshly email to customers inviting them to share


Freshly is a meal subscription service. It offers reasonably healthy, pretty fresh refridgerated meals that can be prepared in the microwave in about three minutes. Personally, during the pandemic lockdown, it helped me have several quick, tasty lunches between Zoom meetings. They've offered a referral program since as long as I've been a customer (at least I think so -- during the lockdown, one business day sometimes faded into the next). 

This offer is a bit different. The email recipient, a current customer, is given a "share code" to send a Freshly Freebie to someone who can get a free week of meals. Nice; however, there is no explanation of how to share. The email lacks an explanation of what I or that special someone needs to do to use that share code and enjoy that free food. This lack of explanation puts traction in the customer process of sharing, which reduces the likelihood of customer action.

The offer was sent on April 29 and expires May 6. This means the offer expires only a week after sending. The offer window is appropriately sized for an emailed offer; however, because the expiration date is mentioned only in the disclosure, the attribute of immediacy in the Call to Action is lost. The expiration date should be communicated in body copy, e.g. "Your share code is valid only through May 6, 2021, so be sure to share your Freebie today!"

Lessons:

  1. Your Call to Action should clearly describe the steps required for the customer to take advantage of your offer.
  2. Do not bury your offer expiration date in your fine print. 


2/06/2021

SpotHunter: How to Hunt for Customers

Last week, I received this flyer:

SpotHunter flyer
SpotHunter flyer
1-sided. Copy appears at a bit of a slant

It arrived in a blind envelope addressed to the impersonal "Current Resident." It is obviously marketing mail. IMHO, it has all the makings of low-end j--- mail. (I'm not writing out the word because I avoid inappropriate 4-letter words on this blog.) The envelope appears impersonal, it has no return address, and it includes a spotty-looking postage permit stamp. 

SpotHunter Outer Envelope
Simple Blind Outer Envelope.
No return address.

I opened it because, well, I love direct mail marketing. But would a typical consumer open it? I don't think so. I noticed several of the same pieces -- addressed to "Current Resident" at other units in my building -- placed in a well-named trash receptacle located in the mailroom.

Mailroom Trash Receptacle
(Inappropriate 4-letter word blacked out)

Inside, there is an impersonal flyer for an app called SpotHunter. The headline reads "Have Trouble Finding Open Street-Parking? Let Us Help." In this context, the hyphen between "Street" and "Parking" is improperly placed. Plus, there's no period at the end of the headline's second sentence. These types of errors may appear minor; however, this type of errors often subconsciously distracts readers from the content and reduces confidence in the product itself. That is a minor Fail for Creative.

Overall, the flyer appears to clearly convey a message: Use this app to find parking and help other people find parking spots. 

Is this really going to work? I don't know. What I do know is that in most of New York City, open parking spots are hard to find and disappear quickly. New Yorkers get into fist fights over parking spots. Even if an app yells "There is an open parking spot 3 blocks away!", the spot may not be open when the driver arrives there two minutes later. And let's not forget that touching your mobile phone while driving is illegal in New York. So, if one cannot utilize the app while driving and a driver cannot expect that a spot appearing on the app is truly available, how useful is it? I guess the app needs scale to be useful; however, the more people that use the app to find parking, the more people are going to go after that precious parking spot a few blocks away.

Well, I can't try out the app -- for me, it is currently useless. It is available only on iPhones, and my phone uses the Android operating system. In fact, about half of the mobile phones in use today are using the Android operating system. So, upfront, half the people who received the mail cannot use the product. That's a Fail for Targeting.  

Given that it appears  everyone in my Queens building received the flyer, I assume SpotHunter carpet-bombed the neighborhood. That's another mistake, because many people in Queens do not have cars. They use mass transit to get around. According to NYCEDC, 62% of Queens residents have cars. In my neighborhood, that percentage is closer to 40%. So that means about half of the 40% people receiving the mail cannot use the product, e.g. 80% of the mail is truly j---,  furthering the Fail for Targeting.

If I were responsible for a marketing campaign for SpotHunter, I would first suggest not using direct mail. Consider perhaps a guerrilla marketing campaign such as placing flyers on cars parked in the neighborhood. Annoying, yes, but at least you are reaching people who have cars to park. A highly geotargeted online effort could also be a good use of limited spend. Some social media platforms allow you to target people who self-identify as having cars. Or consider targeting based on attributes likely to be associated with car use. Then segment down to the type of operating system being used. 

If I were required to utilize direct mail without targeting, I would:

  • Create a simple postcard that conveys the sales proposition. One side would include the headline benefit statement with a visual supporting message, while the address side would include supporting benefit statements and the call to action to Download the app for free.
  • Or, create a flat and geographically target homes with residents likely to benefit from the app using the USPS Every Door Direct Mail tool.
  • Drop mail as soon as the app is available for Android.

Lessons:

  1. Make sure your content is free of grammatical errors.
  2. If your app is available only on an iPhone, you are missing half the market.
  3. If your mail has a simple message, consider a postcard rather than a flyer in an envelope.
  4. If you are targeting geographically rather than individually, consider using the Every Door Direct Mail service from the US Postal Service. 

1/31/2021

Amazon Music Unlimited: Improving the Pitch

 This letter from Amazon Music Unlimited merits a Fail for Creative for a combination of mistakes and missed improvement opportunities. 


Some positive elements of the solo letter package:
  • The letter is addressed to an Amazon Prime customer in a closed-face envelope with simple Amazon branding. This approach ensures a high open rate because Amazon and the customer have an ongoing business relationship, meaning the Prime customer will open the letter to see what it is about.
  • The front of the letter is easily scannable. The Johnson Box clearly communicates that the Prime customer would benefit from 3 months of free … something.
  • The sparse use of copy and generous use of white space help call out the benefits of Amazon Music Unlimited.
  • The letter opens with a personal salutation, addressed to the Amazon Prime customer.
  • The Call toAction on the front of the letter is easy to find.
Amazon Music Unlimited Offer Letter
Front of Letter
using Amazon Music Letterhead



However, there are opportunities to improve on this approach.

The letterhead is from “Amazon Music,” which is already free with Amazon Prime. The Johnson Box could communicate that the offer is for 3 months of Amazon Music Unlimited for free.

The opening sentence is not grammatically correct. It opens with “As a valued Amazon Prime member, we have a special offer for you:” This is an incorrect use of a dangling modifier. The opening phrase “as a valued Amazon Prime member” describes “you,” the customer -- not “we,” the company. The independent clause that begins with “we” does not match the opening phrase, which lacks a subject. While typical customers reading the letter might not remember grammar rules taught in high school, they might subconsciously notice that the sentence feels clunky, which detracts attention from the message. Keeping the message intact, a better opening would be:

“As a valued Amazon Prime member, you are eligible for a special offer:”
or, perhaps,
“As a valued Amazon Prime member, you can enjoy this special offer:” 

The complete value proposition of the low price is hidden in the Disclosure on the back. I would be forthright and mention upfront that the cost is under $8 a month after the third month.

The letter mentions the feature of being “ad free” a couple times (with varying use of hyphens). This could be brought up a level by messaging the benefit, i.e. “Listen to music non-stop, without interruptions.”

While the letter opens with a personal salutation, the closing is from “Amazon Music Team.” A truly sincere closing would be from Bob Bowen, Worldwide Head of Music, or even Jeff Bezos.

The letter includes supporting messages on the back. The front of the letter could use a message referring to the back of the letter to learn more.

Amazon Music Unlimited Marketing Letter
Back of letter

On the back of the letter, the Call to Action appears twice; however, it is easily lost. In one location, it is almost as small as the Disclosure copy. It could be larger and positioned below the Disclosure without being distracting.

The front of the letter mentions “Limited time only.” It fails to mention how limited the offer is. The offer expiration date is buried in the Disclosure on the back. The problem with this approach is two-fold:

  1. The implied need for immediate action is lost, because the customer doesn’t know by when to take action. In other words, it’s easy for the customer to say, “I’ll take care of this later,” then forget about it.

  2. If the offer truly expires on the offer expiration date, and the customer attempts to sign up after the offer expires, the customer will be unhappy from the experience of missing out on the promotion. That dissatisfied customer would view Amazon less positively -- perhaps taking out their frustration by shopping less or even cancelling their Prime membership.

Simple Envelope


Below is a rewrite of the front of the letter, with a bit more focus on product benefits. If Amazon likes the rewrite, I am willing to accept a personally signed thank-you letter.

Dear <Customer Name>,

Would you like to enjoy access to millions of songs, anytime, without interruption? Then here is an offer for Amazon Prime members like you: 3 months of Amazon Music Unlimited for FREE.

Sign up today to get unlimited access to more than 70 million songs. Listen ad-free from your home or mobile phone anytime with offline listening and unlimited skips. With so many new releases and thousands of playlists and stations available, we are sure to have your favorite tunes ready for your delight. In fact, with Amazon Music Unlimited, you can even control your music hands-free with Alexa, included in the Amazon Music mobile app and Amazon Echo devices.

BENEFITS OF AMAZON MUSIC UNLIMITED

Ö        Unlimited anytime access to more than 70 million tunes

Ö        Listen to music non-stop, without interruptions

Ö        Enjoy music anywhere, online or offline

Ö        Skip as much as you like 

Ö        Hands-free listening with Alexa

I’m so sure you’ll like Amazon Music Unlimited, I’m offering it to you for FREE for 3 months. After that, your subscription will renew for only $7.99 a month. You can cancel anytime.

This is a limited time offer, so visit amazon.com/trynow to sign up today.

Sincerely, 

[signature]

Bob Bowen

Worldwide Head of Music

P.S. This offer is good only through <expiration date>, so be sure to review the information on the back of this letter and visit amazon.com/trynow to sign up for Amazon Music Unlimited today.

Lessons:
  1. Use correct grammar.
  2. Your benefits sell your product, so communicate them.
  3. Ensure that your Call to Action is easy to find.
  4. If your offer has an expiration date, don’t bury it.
  5. A personalized letter should be personally signed.
  6. When your brand covers multiple products in a customer relationship, an experience with one product can impact the entire relationship.
  7. Don’t just ignore the back of the letter -- you can use both sides of a page to make your sale.

11/24/2020

Truvia: Postcard could be sweeter

I recently received this postcard introducing me to Truvia, a zero-calorie sweetener. 

Truvia Sweet Complete
Postcard front

Visually, this postcard makes Truvia seem like a compelling alternative to sugar. The picture on the front suggests this is something I could use when baking a cake, making a smoothie, or sweetening coffee. Plus, as a potential customer, the postcard offers me the opportunity to try out one of their products for free. 

Free is a great price for a new product. It is a proven way to get a potential new customer to go outside of their comfort zone, to try something new, and to experiment a bit. It's such a common sales practice that drug dealers reputedly offer the first hit of crack cocaine for free. Customers get addicted, and they pay for more drugs. A sugar-alternative zero-calorie sweetener shouldn't be treated like crack cocaine but, hey, the makers of Truvia certainly want me to be hooked. 

Truvia Sweet Complete Free Offer
Postcard address side

The address side of the postcard includes supporting copy: a well-written product explanation, a benefit statement, an explanation of how to use the product, and a coupon for a free 16-ounce bag. I'd say that's sweet (pun intended). 

The Call to Action is simply "Find it at your local ShopRite." Therein lies the rub (or, should we go with the pun, the 'topping'). From where I live in Queens, the nearest ShopRite is typically a 25 minute drive in traffic -- under 10 miles as the crow flies, but that crow doesn't have to worry about Big Apple traffic. So, no disrespect to ShopRite, but I won't shop there when there are 3 supermarkets and a Target within walking distance. 

So, would I give this call to action a Fail for Targeting? Not really. Presuming this was a national campaign, I can't fault the marketing manager for including someone located several miles from an eligible supermarket. It's pretty complex to design targeting criteria based on travel time to a supermarket chain.

However, I could give the call to action a Fail for Creative. The coupon is valid at any retail location that carries the product. It turns out that, according to the Where to Buy link on the Truvia web site, the advertised product is available at a nearby Foodtown. Rather than mentioning only ShopRite, the postcard should have mentioned their "Where to Buy" website, e.g. 

Visit www.truvia.com/where-to-buy for a store location near you
or
Use your free coupon at ShopRite,
or visit www.truvia.com/where-to-buy for other nearby locations

When a prospective customer can try your product for free with few hassles, that is like zero-calorie icing on the cake.

Lesson: 
Make coupon redemption easy for your customer by offering relevant redemption options.

10/27/2020

PayPal: Selling Honey Without the Other Ingredient

A couple weeks ago I wrote about an email from PayPal selling Honey without communicating a value proposition. Over the weekend, I received this email:

PayPal Honey Value Prop email

PayPal explains Honey in one sentence, "Install Honey in just two clicks so when you shop online you can automatically get some of the best prices from over 30,000 online retailers." That is a well-worded product value proposition. 

Where the prior email encouraged immediacy but lacked a value proposition, this email includes a value proposition does did not encourage immediacy in the call to action. As I draft this post, the $5 bonus offer appears to still be active. Perhaps they have not reached the limit of 40,000 new customers eligible for the offer they mentioned in their first email.

Here's an idea: Combine the value proposition and encourage immediacy in a single communication by explaining the product then closing with a $5 bonus offer. The email could be summed up in a few sentences:

"Install Honey in just two clicks so when you shop online you can automatically get some of the best prices from over 30,000 online retailers. Hurry -- the first 40,000 people to install Honey and make a purchase of $10 or more will receive a $5 bonus."

Will you get that $5 bonus in addition to shopping online with Honey? I don't know, but you should make sure your email isn't a Fail. Act now!

Lesson:

Communicating a value proposition is important, but so is giving the customer a reason to take action now.