7-Eleven: Wing Wednesday After Dark

Last Wednesday, I received this email from 7-Eleven touting “Wing Wednesday” with an offer for cheap wings. Is this Mail That Fails?

With a subject line of “It is Wings Day, my Dudes,” it seems like there is a special price on wings that particular day. That impression is bolstered by text saying, “Celebrate with some wings for less.”

Wing Wednesday email

Plus, the picture prominently displays, “WING WEDNESDAY” in the background and body copy touting, “You made it mid-week!” These both suggest that the 5/$5 Bone-in Wings is available only on, well, Wednesday.

But the email was sent to me at 10:25 pm on Wednesday, and no matter how much I might love wings, that seems a bit late in the day to be prompted for a mid-week wing order. So is this a Fail for Timing?

Maybe not. Down in the Disclosures, we learn that the wings offer is valid “thru” 1/9/24. So, it appears that I could enjoy these 5/$5 wings on a Thursday or on any other day over the next few months. Perhaps this is a bit of a Fail for Creative because it might mislead readers into thinking the offer is valid only on Wednesday -- putting a damper on responsiveness.

Finally, is 7-Eleven using “thru” rather than “through” to be informal and relatable? I don’t know.

Lessons:

1. Align the timing of your emails to your message.
2. Consider when and where it is appropriate to use informal language.

Numerix: Your Excitement Is My Boredom

I recently received a B2B email announcing “exciting news,” and it piqued my interest in all the wrong ways -- meriting a Fail for Content and perhaps even for Targeting.

First of all, the email is from someone at Numerix I don’t know and who I’ve never met, contacted, or connected with, and at a company I’ve never heard of. Yet this person sends me an email that opens with “Exciting News.”

Then, the email uses so much financial jargon that even I can’t figure out what it means -- and I work in the financial industry. What does Numerix do? What can it do for me or my employer? I don’t know, but I guess the acquisition helps them address a bunch of stuff I don’t care about.

I guess this is exciting for Numerix but, without any value proposition, this is simply a press release with several typos.

Lessons:

1. Do not assume your reader knows your company.
2. Do not assume your customer understands your jargon.
3. Avoid acronyms.
4. Use every sales and promotional contact to reinforce your value proposition.
5. Proofread your communications.

Hey Abbott! I Wish I Knew Why You Missed Me

I recently received this email from Abbott, the makers of NAVICA. It merits a Fail for Content.

The email explains that it has been almost a year since I logged into NAVICA, and my data will be deleted after a year of inactivity. What it doesn't explain is what NAVICA is or why I may have had an account. I mean, if I haven't logged in for a year, would I remember what it is?

I'm glad that my data won't be lingering around Abbott's database forever; however, it would have been useful to explain why the information will be deleted.

Here is a potential opening paragraph rewrite:

Hello,

It has been almost a year since you last logged in to NAVICA, the leading digital platform for supporting COVID-19 testing.

To ensure data privacy, we have a policy of deleting customer data after one year of inactivity. This means that, if you do not log in to your account by <date>, your account will be deleted.

Lesson:
Explain your product in every communication, even a customer service communication.

Chart House: Mom doesn't like it when you're late

This email from Chart House restaurant merits a Fail for Timing.

Offer for May 8 - 14
Sent May 14, 3:05 pm

If someone takes their mother out to dinner, they plan ahead. It is not a spur of the moment decision. The email should have been sent on May 7 or 8.

Lesson:
An offer for Mother's Day should be sent days prior to Mother's Day, not on Mother's Day afternoon.

Celebrity Cruises: Too Many Emails!

I've written a few times about Celebrity Cruises' spray & pray approach to email. In 2018, during the weeks leading to a cruise, I was bombarded with emails selling future cruises. The following month, I shared how they had emailed me again and again. Later in the year, I counted more than 200 marketing emails from them.

So many Celebrity Cruises emails,
so little time to read them

I thought this type of bombardment was a Fail for Targeting. Maybe I was wrong, because they still appear to be taking the approach -- hitting me with 19 emails within a week.

Between March 1 and March 3, Celebrity sent me 10 emails. Eight of them were upsells for my upcoming cruise -- drink package, specialty dining, professional photos, WiFi, etc. Perhaps they could have spaced these out at bit? Maybe? Please? One of the 10 emails was for a semi-annual sale; the other was for cruises to Alaska. If that isn't spammy, I don't know what is. 

None of these emails conveys emotion. How about at least one email that might convey excitement? Maybe open with, "We are very excited to have you abord the Celebrity XXX on XXX. Here are some things to know as you prepare to check in." Perhaps give a reminder to, you know, not forget your bathing suit. 

I can't simply ignore all these emails. One of them is germane to understanding what I need to do to check in and ensure a smooth embarkation process. So, that's one functional email and 200+ that are not useful. (There might be a second important email in the bunch, but I can't find it.) It's like that Beastie Boys song: They can't, they won't, and they don't stop. 

Maybe when it comes to future sales marketing and upsell, less isn't more in the cruise industry? I don't know! I do know that, by the time I arrive to check in for my Celebrity sea cruise, I'll already feel salty.

Lesson:
Direct marketing isn't only transactional. It's about building a relationship that improves the customer experience. 

AAA: You're in the Driver's Seat

This recent email from AAA Northeast merits a quick Fail for Content. 

The Subject Line opens with "You're Cash Back is waiting for you." It should open with "Your Cash Back is waiting for you."

Your email starts with "You're"

Lesson:
Proofread every aspect of your marketing communications including the Subject Line.

Dunkin' Rewards: America Runs on Loyalty Programs With Correct Information

Dunkin' recently overhauled their Dunkin' Rewards loyalty program. Some regular customers are not pleased. Coffee rewards that used to be available after spending $40 on coffee now require at least $50 in spend. The program has also become more complex, with a different points earning formula, monthly boosters and a greater emphasis on food. With greater complexity comes greater risk of error.

I would describe myself as an occasional coffee achiever. I might stop for coffee early in the morning when walking the dog, but not that often. I currently have 257 points according to my app -- not enough for one free coffee.

Screenshot showing I have 257 points

So, imagine my surprise when I received this email. 

Points amount email
34,438 points = almost 69 free coffees!

The points value in the email is not only incorrect, it is outrageously wrong. Why would anyone hold on to 34,000 points?

In a prior role, I worked on a loyalty program mailing that included a mention of a customer's point balance. Here are some of the quality control steps I took:

1. Verified output data against source data
2. Verified lettershop proofs against both source data and output data
3. Requested manual review of customers with points balance more than two standard deviations above the mean against source data. 

Perhaps Dunkin' skipped step 3 above. What they could have done is ask themselves something along the lines of, "Who in the email communication appears to have enough points for more than 10 of the top points item? Should that really be the case?"

Lesson: 

When sending personalized information, verify the accuracy of all variable data including outliers.

PenFed Credit Union: What's the Point(s)?

 A couple years ago, I wrote about a credit card solicitation I received from PenFed Credit Union. It took some serious sleuthing to understand why I would be eligible for membership. Since then, I've received a few others from PenFed, including this one for a PenFed Platinum Rewards Visa Signature Card.

I received this mailing as someone who isn't a PenFed member, isn't a member of the armed forces, and is someone who knows about PenFed only because of writing this blog. The letter includes a paragraph explaining that I need to become a member to get the credit card. So, it's probably safe to conclude that the mailer's target audience is who don't know much about PenFed.

Their recent solicitation is again pretty typical for a mid-tier credit card provider: window envelope; letter with Johnson Box; clear Call to Action; Schumer Box; brochure insert; and required credit prescreen opt-out notice. Let's break it down.

The window envelope is clearly branded. Unlike the one from two years ago, this one does not have a teaser. 

The personalized letter opens with a straightforward Johnson Box message: Earn 15,000 points when you spend $1,500 in the first 90 days. Nice. The letter opens by communicating a benefit that the rewards card works with my lifestyle. I can earn bonus points by doing what I do. I can get 5x points for filling my car's tank -- or even charging my EV, so forward-thinking! -- 3x points for food shopping or eating and doing other everyday stuff, and everyday 1x points for all those other purchases. The points accrual rates are reinforced in the right margin. 

The letter closes with an explanation that I need to become a PenFed Credit Union member to get the credit card. It's a simple process, so all I need to do is scan the QR code or go to their website to get started.

The back of the letter reinforces points accrual and compares it to other credit card providers that offer points, then reinforces the Call to Action. 

The points proposition is reinforced with a tri-fold brochure reinforcing points accrual rates. It also communicates some secondary perks such as Tap to Pay and Fraud Monitoring, but mainly it's about how all those points can really add up -- and the Call to Action is reinforced yet again.

Brochure Cover

Brochure inset

Brochure inside

Brochure back

The letter package also includes the legally required Schumer Box and accompanying language disclosing the card product's terms.

Credit disclosures, including Schumer Box

 The back of the disclosures page is blank.

Back of credit disclosures page (blank page)

This isn't a quite a Fail for Creative; however, there are some improvement opportunities: 

• Consider an enticement for the prospective customer to open the envelope. There should be an envelope teaser that would motivate the recipient to open the envelope. Given that the target audience is non-members (e.g. do not have a relationship with PenFed) this is more important than usual. (The "You're Pre-Approved" message in the standard size window is easily missed.)
  
  
• Since the audience is non-member who don't know them, PenFed should introduce itself. Maybe PenFed has strong brand recognition within the military community; but, since I also received it, they are presumably also soliciting new customers who haven't served. Consider using the Who We Are content from the website and include it on the back of the required disclosures sheet, or squeeze a message in the letter or the brochure. 
  
  
• Share the value of points. There is plenty of space allotted to points accrual, but nothing about how the points can be used. Explain if points can be used for travel, cash back, donations to the USO, or something I might enjoy. Also, the lack of quantification of value can be suspicious. Perhaps that 15,000-point intro bonus is worth less than the 10,000-point bonus with the compared-to American Express EveryDay Credit Card -- or perhaps it takes 20,000 points to get a shiny nickel. 

Lessons:

1. Think about your target audience. If they are not current customers, help them get to know you.
2. When soliciting prospective customers, include a conspicuous teaser message to give them a reason to open your envelope.
3. Communicate benefits. Points are not a benefit. They are a vehicle of earnings toward a benefit. 
4. Paper is expensive. Don't waste any. Leverage blank space to sell some more.

Jockey: Late Recognition Of Getting In My Pants

After months of COVID lockdown and isolation, I was finally going to set foot outside of Queens. My wife and I arranged for a weekend getaway upstate at a bed-and-breakfast with plenty of ventilation, air filtration and outdoor seating. It was our anniversary and, pandemic or not, we wanted to make it special. 

We brought masks, gloves, sanitizer, and more sanitizer. I packed a rag and Lysol disinfectant just to give our room a once-over when we arrived. We brought packaged food in case the nearby restaurants were too busy. After confirming all the details and driving north for a few hours, I realized had I forgotten my mother's advice: Always pack clean underwear. Sorry, Mom!

I discovered a Jockey outlet store near our B&B. It had reopened from COVID lockdown the day before our trip. So, on our anniversary, we stopped at the store for a couple pairs of jockeys. The store manager, also wearing a mask and plastic gloves, understood that I wasn't familiar with the brand and helped me pick out something comfortable in my size. 

The manager apologized that not all price tags were up to date as the store was shorthanded and had just reopened. No worries, I said; just ring me up. She asked to put me on the email list with an offer of an instant discount on my in-store purchase. I agreed, providing my email address.

That was two years ago. I haven't purchased anything from Jockey since then. (The underwear is fine; I simply don't need any more.)

In May of this year, I received an email with a Subject Line of "Thank you for joining Jockey Rewards!" 

Jockey Rewards Introduction Email, May, 2022

The wording of that subject line makes it seem like I recently joined the Jockey Rewards program, which is not the case. Perhaps giving the manager my email address in that outlet store two years ago had enrolled me in an older version of the program and I had now been auto-enrolled in the current program. This supposition is based on the answer on the Jockey's reward program FAQ:

First FAQ at jockey.com/rewards mentioning "new and improved rewards program"

So, the program is "new and improved." OK. Perhaps. But since I hadn't just joined the program, better subject lines would include:

Welcome to the new Jockey Rewards!

We've improved Jockey Rewards!

Other than the confusing subject line, the email is nicely done: on brand, communicative, friendly and persuasive. Overall, the email doesn't deserve a Fail for Creative. Perhaps it merits a C+.

Lesson:
Your subject line should be relevant to your customer.

PayPal: Where $1 Cash Back For Every $20 Spent Is Less Than 5%

Since last July, the value of PayPal stock has fallen by about 75%. While many analysts are discussing the company's "fundamentals" and suggesting at what price to purchase the stock, I'm staying away for a different reason -- because they often produce Mail That Fails. 

My first post about PayPal's several Fails was in 2011 when they mailed me a shoddy credit offer. There are a few more, including a recent one about a confusing and poorly targeted Venmo offer. Now, add to my list of PayPal Fails this offer of "$1 cash back for every $20 spent at restaurants." 

PayPal Cash Card Restaurant Rebate Offer
Received May 9, 2022

Scanning the headline might make you think that going out to lunch four times -- spending $25 each time with your GooglePay app to use your PayPal balance for those lunches -- would earn you $5 cash back ($100 divided by $20 equals $5). But you'd be wrong…twice. The offer requires me to first request a PayPal Cash Card, then receive it in the mail and use it at a restaurant. All within 5 weeks of first receiving the offer – some of which is spent waiting for PayPal to process my request for the card. That's a lot of effort and a short window of opportunity for a small benefit, e.g. a Fail for Offer. 

PayPal could have easily avoided this by using a rolling offer expiration date. For example, PayPal could require the customer to request the card by a specific date, but then give the customer a reasonable amount of time to use the card after activation, say, 60 days. That would be clear to explain and fair to the customer -- unless, of course, the intent is to make imply the offer is more generous then it actually is.

Which leads me to the actual offer value. I read through the disclosure text a few times, and I'm pretty sure that cash back offer is on a per-transaction basis. So, while each purchase of $25 would be worth $1 cash back and a $100 dinner might net $5 cash back, four lunches adding up to $100 would be worth only $4 cash back. If I'm right, this is a Fail for Offer and Content for being misleading. If I'm wrong, it is a Fail for Content for lack of clarity.

Another Fail for Content lies in the disclosures. It appears this disclosure was rushed and not proofread. Take this paragraph, for example:

"Eligible Purchase(s)": Eligible Purchase is defined as every $20.00 USD spent in-store or onlineusing the Card and finalized by the merchant during the Offer Period (defined below) in thefollowing category: restaurants (according to the Merchant Category Code (“MCC”) assigned byeach merchant, their processor, and the credit card networks. Only acceptable MCCs for this offerare 5812 and 5814). PayPal is not responsible for assignment of MCC codes. As a result, Reward willnot be awarded if the MCC code assigned to a particular merchant does not fall within a restaurantcategory, even if you believe that the merchant is a restaurant. Eligible Purchases do not include:(1) purchases that are marked as “pending” in your Card account as of the end of the Offer Period,(2) purchases made at eligible merchants using a third-party delivery service (3) ATM transactions,(4) gift card purchases, (5) any purchase or portion of a purchase that involves a payment methodother than the Card, or (6) in-store cash withdrawals/cash back. 

Spaces are missing between words. The punctuation is inconsistent. Some numbers in parentheses have spaces before them; some do not. There’s also a missing comma after "service" in the last sentence. 

There are references to "e-mail" in some paragraphs and "email" in other paragraphs. According to grammarly.com, both are correct as long as you use it consistently. PayPal is not being consistent.

These types of possibly misleading offers and unclear communications suggest to me that PayPal's leadership is spending their marketing dollars without full consideration of what they are doing and how they are doing it. As a stockholder, that would frighten me. As a customer, that also scares me a bit. If I can't expect to get a clean offer and clear communication, should I really be trusting PayPal to keep my personal information secure?

Lessons:

1. Clearly communicate your offer.
2. Allow your customers adequate time to respond to your offer and benefit from it's value.
3. Proofread your entire communication, including your disclosures.
4. Your customers' trust is potentially built or destroyed by every communication.
5. The debate between "e-mail" and "email" isn't over, but at least pick a side.