Rest.com: Cramped Postcard Is Mostly Unreadable

This small postcard from rest.com merits a Fail for Content and Offer.

Can you find the call to action in 3 seconds?

It's said that the eyes convey emotion, tug at hearts and show joy. So why does the front of this small postcard have a picture of a man with no eyes and the top of his head cut off? I guess Rest decided they couldn't fit the most important part of the human face on their postcard.

The call to action (CTA) is in knock-out white text over a light-colored comforter, making it hard to see. It is in the bottom left corner, which is that the last corner a reader scans. The "HSA/FSA Eligible" message jumps, but the website name does not.

Small postcard with unreadable copy

On the address side, we see the eyeless guy with an eyeless woman. (At least the woman is conveying some emotion with her smile.) Some sales messages are rendered in a font size legally too small for financial service disclosures, yet Rest mistakenly thinks it is large enough for a consumer to read with interest. 

Below the marketing messages are some logos. The middle one is a Good Housekeeping symbol. I tried reading the others using my phone at 4x view. I think the one on the left is about health, but I don't know. Do you think a consumer would know or care?

The CTA is lost at the bottom in small type. The retail partners are listed in small knock-out white type over a mostly dark background. Five points to anyone who can name the retailer on upper right, because I can't. 

The USPS allows for a postcard to as large as 6" x 9" to qualify for the standard postcard rate. Rest chose to make it only 4" x 6". Why? The only reason I can think of is to save a few bucks on paper for an otherwise expensive direct mail campaign. This approach is penny wise and pound foolish. Most of the visual problems could be solved with adequate space for content. Plus, a postcard this small gets lost in physical clutter.

Speaking of clutter: That's part of the problem with the postcard. There are too many messages. Rest is stuffing mention of 5,000 5-star reviews and a Good Housekeeping seal and two other logos I can't identify and something about being HSA/FSA eligible and retailers other than their website and one random testimonial. The core sales proposition is lost. 

Going back to that CTA: It's simply to visit the website. There is mention of a potential 35% discount, but it is too hard to find, too hard to read and too far from the CTA. If I were to work on this postcard, I would advise Rest to include some kind of offer or value proposition next to a prominent CTA. "Enjoy up to 35% off through [date] at rest[dot]com/xxxx." The xxxx could be a URL developed specifically for this postcard, so you can at least gauge resulting traffic. But, of course, you need space to utilize this best practice.

Lessons:

1. When mailing a postcard, take advantage of the largest size available at postcard rate.
2. Avoid content with inadequate background color contrast. 
3. All your sales copy should be large enough for a typical consumer to be able to and want to read.
4. Avoid overloading your mail with too many messages.
5. Your call to action should be easy to find.
6. Your call to action should include a reason to take action now.
7. Include a means of tracking your mail's performance.
8. Depicting people without eyes is creepy.

Corcoran: Moving In With Free Pizza

This postcard from a duo of real estate brokers is a creative idea but it misses the mark in execution. Is it Mail That Fails, or just a bit too heavy on the cheese?

The front of the postcard touts "Free Pizza!*" There are over 1,800 pizzerias in New York City, because we love our pizza. I mean, if that picture isn't causing you to have a Pavlovian response, then you're not a New Yorker. 

So who doesn't want free pizza, right? Yup, the postcard can be redeemed for a free Margherita pizza at Salsa Napoletana & Street Food.

That apparently no-strings-attached free pizza is a way of introducing the Volpe | Kelly Real Estate Team from Brooklyn to Queens. See, the real estate team got its start in Brooklyn and is now covering Forest Hills. Salsa Napoletana got started in Brooklyn and recently opened a shop in the area, so why not team up, right?

(Side note: Salsa Napoletana isn't really in Forest Hills. Their location is in nearby Rego Park. But, hey, it is in Queens, so that's close enough for the metaphor to work, I guess.)

The copy on the postcard makes the Brooklyn / Forest Hills connection:

Headline:

Salsa Pizzeria came from Brooklyn. So Did I. Your Home's Buyer May Too!

Copy:

In the last decade, sales of homes like yours have increased by nearly $400,000 [sic]. It's no surprise buyers from Brooklyn are craving to live in Forest Hills. As a longtime Brooklyn real estate expert and resident of Forest Hills, I'm excited to team up with Salsa Pizzeria - a beloved Brooklyn pie shop now open on Woodhaven Blvd.

Whether you're hungry for a new home or a classic slice, we've got you covered. Call today to discuss your options.

For those of you who don't know New York City, we have five boroughs, and there are reasons people choose to live in the borough of Queens. Generally speaking, Brooklyn is artsy, urban, hipster and expensive, while Queens is diverse, multicultural, family-friendly and (slightly) more affordable. Folks in Forest Hills don't want the Brooklyn lifestyle and they may not want to relate to people who tout that Brooklyn lifestyle. So, I'm not sure I'd want to tout the Brooklyn connection too much as a RTB (reason to believe) Mr. Volpe is the right broker for Forest Hills. On the other hand, Brooklyn and pizza does make for an interesting message hook.

The postcard's messaging and call to action could be strengthened. The broker could communicate not just location, but success. Potential rewrite:

Headline:

Salsa Pizzeria is successful in Brooklyn. So am I. See what we can do for you in Forest Hills.

Copy:

When Salsa Pizzeria opened in Brooklyn, it was the talk of the neighborhood. Their Neapolitan pizza was created with passion and flavor that brings people back for more. Now, their pizza is available near your home. 

When I got my professional start in Brooklyn, I brought that same passion to real estate, helping connect sellers and buyers with homes they'll live in and love. 

I live in Forest Hills, so whether you're hungry for a new home or a classic slice, I've got you covered. Call me today at xxx-xxx-xxxx to discuss how I can help you. 

 What's behind the edits:

• Credibility Build. Expertise may be nice, but a broker with passion is someone people want to interact with.
• Avoiding Misguided Quantification. The original copy confused sales with value, and offered a figure that would align with actual home value increases only coincidentally.
• Including the phone number in the call to action. If someone is interested in calling you, don't make them hunt for a means to reach you. 
• Personalizing the call to action. By asking someone to "call me", the experience of expressing interest is personalized, which reduces tension.

I'd also suggest:

• Adding a bit more urgency on the pizza offer. "While supplies last" is good, but perhaps consider, "Limited to 100 pies" and/or "Available only through xx/xx/xx" to motivate people to get that pizza.
• Making the QR code jump out. In only black and tan, it gets lost in the current location and it looks like the outline of a pizza. Add some contrasting spot color or render the call to action in boldface.
• If not already done, ensure that that the pizzeria has brochures and other information about the real estate firm. Get a pizza, get a handout, call Mr. Volpe. Everyone wins.
• Consider who this postcard is from. It isn't fully clear if this postcard is about Eric Volpe, about the Volpe | Kelly Team, or about The Corcoran Group. While The Corcoran Group has a positive brand identity in the Big Apple, Volpe | Kelly is what is touted on the pizza side of the postcard. And, who is that woman next to Eric's name on the bottom of the address side? Is she Kelly?

So, is this Mail That Fails? Not quite, but Content could be improved.

Lessons:

1. When engaging in local messaging, be sure you're appealing to the local audience with local flavor.
2. Give customers a reason to believe in you.
3. Don't let your call to action get lost.
4. Be consistent in self-identification.
5. It's hard to go wrong with pizza in New York City.

HomeServe: Needs Better Cobranding

The first direct mail campaign I managed was an offer for The Practical Blue Hen, an informal guidebook I wrote for new students at the University of Delaware. At the time, I was a student there and partnered with a student organization to obtain a list incoming freshmen. I composed a solicitation letter, had a local printer print it, and offered pizza to anyone in the dorm who would help me stuff them in envelopes printed with the University of Delaware and Resident Student Association logos. I figured that every incoming freshman and their parent would open mail when their college is in the return address, and many of them would buy the guidebook. 

I was right -- the mailing had a 40% response rate! 

WorryFree Example

That entrepreneurial experience taught me more lessons than any college course. One of those lessons: Never underestimate the value of cobranding.

Someone at American Water Resources (AWR) also learned that lesson. They partnered with the New York City water board to sell water and sewer line protection services. That partnership allows them to use the NYC Department of Environmental Protection (NYC DEP) logo -- familiar familiar to New Yorkers. NYC DEP collects trash and recyclables, manages some of the local utilities, and bills homes for water use. Someone who gets a letter from the NYC DEP is going to at least pay attention to it.

Sometimes their mailers include logos from both AWR and NYC DEP, and sometimes only NYC DEP. 

AWR Examples

Recently, I recently received a solicitation from HomeServe that tries to copy the AWR approach but merits Fails for Targeting and Content. The return address leverages a logo from PSEG, a utility that most New Yorkers would not know. PSEG serves New Jersey, not New York. In some parts of Long Island and a small part of Queens, they operate under the name of PSEG Long Island. But PSEG by itself -- nah, in mainland Queens, we haven't heard of them. The cobranding effort is wasted.

In contrast, AWR mailers effectively leverage their partnership by giving a a bit of an official feeling to the envelopes. They include a call to action with a respond-by date, giving some urgency. They also include mention of an incentive right on the envelope. Smart -- who doesn't want a $50 credit? But WorryFree doesn't do that. Their lead-in is, "A message from PSEG," which seems pretty soft. No color, no message, no urgency. I'd love to run an A/B test comparing AWR's envelope style to WorryFree's, but if I couldn't, I'd go with AWR's. It motivates action.

Lessons:

1. Cobranding can be highly effective when the cobrand is relevant to your target audience.
2. Cobranding and compelling messages on an envelope can get past mailbox clutter and motivate action.

Catera Investors: You Gotta Know the Territory

I received this self-mailer from Cetera Investors.

It looks like one of the typical acquisition lead generation mailers for an independent financial services firm. The offer is typical: nice dinner, lessons on making the most of one's wealth, presentation about services the firm can provide. There would likely be some selling, maybe soft sell, maybe hard sell -- that depends on the firm. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Dinner Event in Bellmore, NY

But the dinner was located in Bellmore, NY. From my home in Forest Hills, that's 28 miles as the crow flies and 45 - 100 minutes in weekday afternoon traffic. One cannot reasonably expect a potential customer to travel that far and long for a dinner presentation, which is why I consider this a Fail for Targeting.

My first thought when I read through this was a song from The Music Man, "You Gotta Know the Territory." Maybe the wealth managers were from out of the area? But no, they work in the Westbury office so they should know that New Yorkers hate to shlep and we love location convenience. If they want business from people in Queens, they need to feed people in Queens. We have plenty of great Italian restaurants here that would gladly host an event. 

Mr. Roth, the wealth manager from the mailing, likely worked with a third party to obtain the mailing list and send the mailer. I hope he selects a tighter geographic radius next time so he can preserve his wealth.

Also, of concern: The self-mailer is addressed to "Mr. Marc Davis Jr." I'm not a junior and I don't have a son. Minor Fail for Targeting.

Lessons:

1. Geographic targeting should be tightly aligned to your location and how far people are willing to travel.
2. Name hygiene is important. Don't use name suffixes unless you're sure they are accurate.

Venmo: Reminds Me of My Mother

My mother meant well. When I was a college freshman, she meant to send me a care package. But life was so busy for Mom, working full time while taking care of two younger children. No worries for me, though -- if I wanted snacks, my dorm was just a short walk from 7-11.

When I was a sophomore, then a junior, still no care packages. Somehow, I got by on healthy cafeteria food.

Then, senior year -- the day before final exams -- a small box showed up at my apartment door. It was filled with assorted snacks and a note from my mother. I called her up to thank her and asked why she’d sent it during my last week of my last year of school. She replied, “I didn’t want you to say I never sent you a care package.” Aw, Mom, so sweet -- but a bit late.

Did you know that April was Financial Literacy Month? Even though it’s been recognized in the United States for over 20 years, apparently Venmo remembered it just in the nick of time: It was the theme of an email they sent me 40 minutes before the end of the month.

I suppose they didn't want me to think they'd forgotten to share some financial money tips during Financial Literacy Month. Or maybe the content managers had planned to send this content earlier in the month but were too busy? Fail for Timing.

Lesson: 
Be relevant early, not late. 

Merrell: Oops, They Did It Again

Four years ago, I shared a recommendation that Merrell include a clearly communicated offer expiration date on their postcards. 

In October, I received this postcard. 

Their offer of $25 off a $100 purchase was good through 11/16/24; however, you need to point a magnifying glass at the very small disclosure* to discover that: 

Disclosure with Expiration Date
(Enlarged for readability)

So, what happened? I thought about buying my wife a new pair of hiking shoes for Christmas. I set aside the postcard, and came back to it after Thanksgiving. I tried to make a purchase using the promo code on the postcard; however, alas, the offer had expired. This is Merrell's Fail for Content.

An expiration date motivates action. Action means response. Response means sales. The lack of an expiration means fewer sales for Merrell. 

So why not put some urgency around the offer? Merrell could simply add, "Use your coupon code by November 16, 2024, to enjoy your discount" in a readable font size -- like you know, 12 or 14 point. Without increasing production costs, the message could appear in the white space below the picture of those cool Wrapt hybrid shoes or on the address panel above the name.

Lesson -- same as four years ago:
Your call to action should include a clearly communicated, definitive offer expiration date.

* Many people mistakenly refer to small print associated with marketing communications as a disclaimer, when in fact it is a disclosure. According to dictionary.com, a ‘disclaimer’ is “the act of disclaiming; the renouncing, repudiating, or denying of a claim; disavowal” while a ‘disclosure’ is “the act or an instance of disclosing; exposure; revelation.” ‘Disclose’ is defined as “to make known; reveal or uncover” From a Marketing standpoint, a disclaimer is an admission that the headline is false – otherwise why renounce it? However, a disclosure provides secondary but relevant facts of an offer. So the only reason an offer or marketing communication would require a disclaimer is if it was misleading from the onset.

Why Does Mail Fail, Revisited

When I started this blog 15 years ago, my intent was to share direct marketing lessons using real-world communications as examples. While I have been able to focus on my professional passion by writing these posts, I also hope you enjoyed reading and learning from them.

My goal of this blog hasn't changed over a decade and a half, but direct marketing jargon has -- so I'm updating the categories I use to classify Mail That Fails. 

• 
  Targeting: The use of data and information in determining to whom to communicate. Is your target audience going to be interested in your communication? Are you optimizing for number or sales, profitability or both?
  
  
• Offer: What you present to the target audience. Does it align with your targeting? Is it interesting? Is it relevant? Will it motivate action? Is there an appropriate incentive? Does the offer have a clearly communicated expiration date? 
  
  
• Content: Method of communication; layout; design; words; visuals; explanation of the product, service or offer. Does it quickly convey the message? Is it engaging? Is it motivating? Is it free of errors and inappropriate slang? Does it communicate to the customer? Is it adequately personalized?
  
  
• Timing: When it is sent and when a customer is meant to receive it. Is it relevant at that time?

The terms may have changed, but these basic principles applied 15 years ago -- and they're still important for both physical mail and email. 

Email deployment tools are continuing to be more sophisticated and more complex. Marketers need to start with the basics such as target audience and desired outcome to drive their messaging approach. We need to stay relevant by executing cleanly and on a timely basis.

Sometimes there are circumstances beyond a marketer's control, so not every campaign can be successful. But by keeping core marketing principles in mind, we can avoid producing Mail That Fails.

ASPCA: Dedupe for the Dogs

 I recently received on the same day two of the exact same solicitations to donate to the ASPCA. 

Make the puppy happy.
Clean up your mailing list.

This is a classic Fail for Targeting. All mailers should go through list cleansing steps, including removing duplicates. I like this advice from Strata: double check your mailing list by hand. This is also known as eyeballing a list -- sometimes that visual inspection will reveal something that the most sophisticated software will miss.

Lessons:

1. Dedupe your mailing list.
2. In addition to systemic steps, review your mailing list directly.

Discover Bank: An Email from Discover, Or Is It?

I recently received an email from Discover Bank (probably) about adding a layer of security to my account -- and about some other basic ways to keep my account secure.

Email from Discover Bank (probably)

The email itself is informative enough. The subject line reads, "Marc, do you know how to keep your account safe?" The subhead reads, "Learn how to spot bad actors before they spot you." And the body of the email includes all the typically scary Be-Careful-And-Don't-Trust-Anyone-Else language.

But...

The footer includes a reminder to "Add DiscoverBank@bank.em.discover.com to your address book to ensure delivery of these emails." 

The email was not sent from that email address or even from the discover.com domain. The sender is dfscorpor-Unbranded2 <dfscorpor@dfscorpor-2.rsys5.com>. Now, maybe that is a legitimate email address managed by Discover, but it seems like one of those scammer email addresses your father warned you about -- and that undermines their intended message of trust.

So, maybe if you're trying to create trust with your customers, you don't start by making them paranoid.

Lesson:
Consider what you are using as your send email address, especially when sending emails about account security.

GE: UltraFast Postcard Fail

I recently received a postcard from GE that merits several Fails for Content. 

The front shows an androgynous person in a high-end walk-in closet doing laundry. She is smirking at her laundry machine while either preparing to put towels in or recently having removed them. "This is not just laundry," cries the headline, "This is One & Done."

On the address side is a picture of two laundry machines -- presumably run by an app. There is very little copy on this side, only, "Wash + Dry with the UltraFast Combo," with a Call to Action to visit a specific appliance store.

As executed, this postcard has multiple Fails. Let's break down why it was a waste of money.

Confusing Audience

The front of the postcard shows someone in a combination utility room and expensive closet, with more athletic shoes than you can count. The room looks pretty expensive, like it is in the house of a one-percenter. It certainly doesn't look like this is a typical person using a typical machine. So a typical consumer might look at the person and room and think they couldn't afford whatever the postcard is advertising.

Misleading Product

The address side shows not one, but two machines, visually suggesting that this is a washer-and-dryer combination set. It isn't, through, the picture is actually of two of the same one-piece washer/dryer appliances -- one has a stand. A typical consumer would have to look and think hard to recognize this, but they wouldn't bother. They'd likely look at the postcard for about three seconds, then toss it.

Uncompelling Benefits, No Urgency

The communicated benefits appear to be the ability to wash and dry by using an app. Maybe that's enough to motivate a consumer to visit a website in the comfort of their own home, but it is not compelling enough to get a consumer to schlep to a store. After all, this is a low-interest category for a major purchase. Why not include an offer, such as $100 rebate for this $2,899 machine if the consumer brings in the postcard within 30 days? Even a modest incentive with a reasonable offer expiration date supports some action.

Incorrect Location

Finally, this postcard gets the store location wrong. The Hoing's Appliance location near me is in Forest Hills, not the Bronx physical address shown on the postcard. In fact, the web address on the postcard is for Forest Hills location, while the Bronx location has a different URL.

Lessons:

1. Explain your product. Clearly communicate its benefits.
2. Support your mail with online content to explain your product benefits.
3. Give the customer a reason to take action soon.
4. When directing a customer to a physical location, share the nearest location.
5. Check every URL listed in your mail.

7-Eleven: Wing Wednesday After Dark

Last Wednesday, I received this email from 7-Eleven touting “Wing Wednesday” with an offer for cheap wings. Is this Mail That Fails?

With a subject line of “It is Wings Day, my Dudes,” it seems like there is a special price on wings that particular day. That impression is bolstered by text saying, “Celebrate with some wings for less.”

Wing Wednesday email

Plus, the picture prominently displays, “WING WEDNESDAY” in the background and body copy touting, “You made it mid-week!” These both suggest that the 5/$5 Bone-in Wings is available only on, well, Wednesday.

But the email was sent to me at 10:25 pm on Wednesday, and no matter how much I might love wings, that seems a bit late in the day to be prompted for a mid-week wing order. So is this a Fail for Timing?

Maybe not. Down in the Disclosures, we learn that the wings offer is valid “thru” 1/9/24. So, it appears that I could enjoy these 5/$5 wings on a Thursday or on any other day over the next few months. Perhaps this is a bit of a Fail for Creative because it might mislead readers into thinking the offer is valid only on Wednesday -- putting a damper on responsiveness.

Finally, is 7-Eleven using “thru” rather than “through” to be informal and relatable? I don’t know.

Lessons:

1. Align the timing of your emails to your message.
2. Consider when and where it is appropriate to use informal language.

Numerix: Your Excitement Is My Boredom

I recently received a B2B email announcing “exciting news,” and it piqued my interest in all the wrong ways -- meriting a Fail for Content and perhaps even for Targeting.

First of all, the email is from someone at Numerix I don’t know and who I’ve never met, contacted, or connected with, and at a company I’ve never heard of. Yet this person sends me an email that opens with “Exciting News.”

Then, the email uses so much financial jargon that even I can’t figure out what it means -- and I work in the financial industry. What does Numerix do? What can it do for me or my employer? I don’t know, but I guess the acquisition helps them address a bunch of stuff I don’t care about.

I guess this is exciting for Numerix but, without any value proposition, this is simply a press release with several typos.

Lessons:

1. Do not assume your reader knows your company.
2. Do not assume your customer understands your jargon.
3. Avoid acronyms.
4. Use every sales and promotional contact to reinforce your value proposition.
5. Proofread your communications.

Hey Abbott! I Wish I Knew Why You Missed Me

I recently received this email from Abbott, the makers of NAVICA. It merits a Fail for Content.

The email explains that it has been almost a year since I logged into NAVICA, and my data will be deleted after a year of inactivity. What it doesn't explain is what NAVICA is or why I may have had an account. I mean, if I haven't logged in for a year, would I remember what it is?

I'm glad that my data won't be lingering around Abbott's database forever; however, it would have been useful to explain why the information will be deleted.

Here is a potential opening paragraph rewrite:

Hello,

It has been almost a year since you last logged in to NAVICA, the leading digital platform for supporting COVID-19 testing.

To ensure data privacy, we have a policy of deleting customer data after one year of inactivity. This means that, if you do not log in to your account by <date>, your account will be deleted.

Lesson:
Explain your product in every communication, even a customer service communication.

Chart House: Mom doesn't like it when you're late

This email from Chart House restaurant merits a Fail for Timing.

Offer for May 8 - 14
Sent May 14, 3:05 pm

If someone takes their mother out to dinner, they plan ahead. It is not a spur of the moment decision. The email should have been sent on May 7 or 8.

Lesson:
An offer for Mother's Day should be sent days prior to Mother's Day, not on Mother's Day afternoon.

Celebrity Cruises: Too Many Emails!

I've written a few times about Celebrity Cruises' spray & pray approach to email. In 2018, during the weeks leading to a cruise, I was bombarded with emails selling future cruises. The following month, I shared how they had emailed me again and again. Later in the year, I counted more than 200 marketing emails from them.

So many Celebrity Cruises emails,
so little time to read them

I thought this type of bombardment was a Fail for Targeting. Maybe I was wrong, because they still appear to be taking the approach -- hitting me with 19 emails within a week.

Between March 1 and March 3, Celebrity sent me 10 emails. Eight of them were upsells for my upcoming cruise -- drink package, specialty dining, professional photos, WiFi, etc. Perhaps they could have spaced these out at bit? Maybe? Please? One of the 10 emails was for a semi-annual sale; the other was for cruises to Alaska. If that isn't spammy, I don't know what is. 

None of these emails conveys emotion. How about at least one email that might convey excitement? Maybe open with, "We are very excited to have you abord the Celebrity XXX on XXX. Here are some things to know as you prepare to check in." Perhaps give a reminder to, you know, not forget your bathing suit. 

I can't simply ignore all these emails. One of them is germane to understanding what I need to do to check in and ensure a smooth embarkation process. So, that's one functional email and 200+ that are not useful. (There might be a second important email in the bunch, but I can't find it.) It's like that Beastie Boys song: They can't, they won't, and they don't stop. 

Maybe when it comes to future sales marketing and upsell, less isn't more in the cruise industry? I don't know! I do know that, by the time I arrive to check in for my Celebrity sea cruise, I'll already feel salty.

Lesson:
Direct marketing isn't only transactional. It's about building a relationship that improves the customer experience. 

AAA: You're in the Driver's Seat

This recent email from AAA Northeast merits a quick Fail for Content. 

The Subject Line opens with "You're Cash Back is waiting for you." It should open with "Your Cash Back is waiting for you."

Your email starts with "You're"

Lesson:
Proofread every aspect of your marketing communications including the Subject Line.

Dunkin' Rewards: America Runs on Loyalty Programs With Correct Information

Dunkin' recently overhauled their Dunkin' Rewards loyalty program. Some regular customers are not pleased. Coffee rewards that used to be available after spending $40 on coffee now require at least $50 in spend. The program has also become more complex, with a different points earning formula, monthly boosters and a greater emphasis on food. With greater complexity comes greater risk of error.

I would describe myself as an occasional coffee achiever. I might stop for coffee early in the morning when walking the dog, but not that often. I currently have 257 points according to my app -- not enough for one free coffee.

Screenshot showing I have 257 points

So, imagine my surprise when I received this email. 

Points amount email
34,438 points = almost 69 free coffees!

The points value in the email is not only incorrect, it is outrageously wrong. Why would anyone hold on to 34,000 points?

In a prior role, I worked on a loyalty program mailing that included a mention of a customer's point balance. Here are some of the quality control steps I took:

1. Verified output data against source data
2. Verified lettershop proofs against both source data and output data
3. Requested manual review of customers with points balance more than two standard deviations above the mean against source data. 

Perhaps Dunkin' skipped step 3 above. What they could have done is ask themselves something along the lines of, "Who in the email communication appears to have enough points for more than 10 of the top points item? Should that really be the case?"

Lesson: 

When sending personalized information, verify the accuracy of all variable data including outliers.

PenFed Credit Union: What's the Point(s)?

 A couple years ago, I wrote about a credit card solicitation I received from PenFed Credit Union. It took some serious sleuthing to understand why I would be eligible for membership. Since then, I've received a few others from PenFed, including this one for a PenFed Platinum Rewards Visa Signature Card.

I received this mailing as someone who isn't a PenFed member, isn't a member of the armed forces, and is someone who knows about PenFed only because of writing this blog. The letter includes a paragraph explaining that I need to become a member to get the credit card. So, it's probably safe to conclude that the mailer's target audience includes people who don't know much about PenFed.

Their recent solicitation is again pretty typical for a mid-tier credit card provider: window envelope; letter with Johnson Box; clear Call to Action; Schumer Box; brochure insert; and required credit prescreen opt-out notice. Let's break it down.

The window envelope is clearly branded. Unlike the one from two years ago, this one does not have a teaser. 

The personalized letter opens with a straightforward Johnson Box message: Earn 15,000 points when you spend $1,500 in the first 90 days. Nice. The letter opens by communicating a benefit that the rewards card works with my lifestyle. I can earn bonus points by doing what I do. I can get 5x points for filling my car's tank -- or even charging my EV, so forward-thinking! -- 3x points for food shopping or eating and doing other everyday stuff, and everyday 1x points for all those other purchases. The points accrual rates are reinforced in the right margin. 

The letter closes with an explanation that I need to become a PenFed Credit Union member to get the credit card. It's a simple process, so all I need to do is scan the QR code or go to their website to get started.

The back of the letter reinforces points accrual and compares it to other credit card providers that offer points, then reinforces the Call to Action. 

The points proposition is reinforced with a tri-fold brochure reinforcing points accrual rates. It also communicates some secondary perks such as Tap to Pay and Fraud Monitoring, but mainly it's about how all those points can really add up -- and the Call to Action is reinforced yet again.

Brochure Cover

Brochure inset

Brochure inside

Brochure back

The letter package also includes the legally required Schumer Box and accompanying language disclosing the card product's terms.

Credit disclosures, including Schumer Box

 The back of the disclosures page is blank.

Back of credit disclosures page (blank page)

This isn't a quite a Fail for Creative; however, there are some improvement opportunities: 

• Consider an enticement for the prospective customer to open the envelope. There should be an envelope teaser that would motivate the recipient to open the envelope. Given that the target audience is non-members (e.g. do not have a relationship with PenFed) this is more important than usual. (The "You're Pre-Approved" message in the standard size window is easily missed.)
  
  
• Since the audience includes non-members who don't know them, PenFed should introduce itself. Maybe PenFed has strong brand recognition within the military community; but, since I also received it, they are presumably also soliciting new customers who haven't served. Consider using the Who We Are content from the website and include it on the back of the required disclosures sheet, or squeeze a message in the letter or the brochure. 
  
  
• Share the value of points. There is plenty of space allotted to points accrual, but nothing about how the points can be used. Explain if points can be used for travel, cash back, donations to the USO, or something I might enjoy. Also, the lack of quantification of value can be suspicious. Perhaps that 15,000-point intro bonus is worth less than the 10,000-point bonus with the compared-to American Express EveryDay Credit Card -- or perhaps it takes 20,000 points to get a shiny nickel. 

Lessons:

1. Think about your target audience. If they are not current customers, help them get to know you.
2. When soliciting prospective customers, include a conspicuous teaser message to give them a reason to open your envelope.
3. Communicate benefits. Points are not a benefit. They are a vehicle of earnings toward a benefit. 
4. Paper is expensive. Don't waste any. Leverage blank space to sell some more.